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35 yo, Gatekeeper, Master of Ceremonies – the highest from the lowest, the most educated servant, the right hand of Kay. Can’t read so he is usually used to deliver letters.
What is right, and what is wrong? You don’t know. The custom of the castle says you should be Christian, so you are.
“I am but a dog to you, and you keep beating me with the stick. Do you know that dogs have teeth?”
From your childhood, your father was training you to take his position. He was the usher, the Master of Ceremonies. It was his tasks to know all about the court etiquette, to know all noble houses, everybody who could come. He welcomed them at the gate. He announced them as they were coming to the courtroom. He had to be smart, serious, reliable, yet humble, and distant since he was dealing whole his life with people who were higher than him. He had to be educated yet not to read since he was used as a messenger often. Still, he had to recognize the seal on the letter to let the receiver know who is writing.
You were a good student, and when he died, you took over. Yet, you committed a terrible sin – you learn how to read. If anybody would find out, it would cost you your head.
You find it rather amusing, yet terrible, how everpresent, but overlooked you are in the life of the castle. You are opening all ceremonies, yet no one seems to be paying you any attention. You are a low born. In the eyes of the nobility, low borns are less than humans, just a little bit more than animals. You could catch anybody nude or in flagrant and they wouldn’t even blush since no one cares if the cat or dog is watching them making love.
Even though you saw pretty much all the females at the court as God has made them, it never provoked any lustful thoughts in you. But seeing knights in their beauty… you realized it when you were fifteen. Watching sir Gawain, Lancelot, Lionel, and others swimming naked in the river nearby castle, in the blooming spring or summer… it was so terrifying to know what is happening to you and that you cannot control it. You were ashamed. You were scared. You knew nobody can ever find out. But some things are impossible to hide if somebody pays at least a little bit of attention. And there was one who did…
Hector was one of the youngest, yet the most courageous and beautiful knights on the court. Cousin to the Lancelot himself. He was kind. And attentive. He saw how you are watching them while they are in the river. How bashfully you are looking aside. And once, while you were delivering a note from his wife, Hector challenged you to take a swim with him. You apologized that you still have many duties. So he ordered you to undressed. You couldn’t disobey. And when he saw you naked, when he saw your thing so hard and strong, he made you come to him and put your body to good use.
Since then, you had been lovers. Even though Hector was married, you learn to understand it was just a public act. He loved his wife as a sister but felt no desire for her (or any other woman). But he felt a desire for you. And he had you, so many times and in so many ways, and you loved it. You loved him. And he fell in love with you.
Still, it was hard to continue with your unholy relationship without being discovered. You knew how hard it is to keep a secret… especially since you know so many secrets of others.
You know queen Guinevere had slept with Balin, Gawain, Dinadane, you know about her affair with Lancelot. You knew that the Holy Grail affair is a charade planed by Morgana, made possible by Kay (who organized the musicians around the feasting hall), and influenced by the Nineve‘s magic. You didn’t tell Hector, on the contrary, you let him leave because people started to suspect you two have an affair and you needed him to disappear for a while.
You know that Ragnelle, Gawain‘s wife, is a fairy (see more in Fairy Business), and you know that Gawain sleeps with Perse, Hector’s wife (but you wonder if to tell him or not). You also know Perse used to sleep with Kay, and that Kay always wanted to sleep with Guinevere but had been refused by her. You know that Kay wants to rule and that he both loves and hates King Arthur as a real brother. You know that Dinadan used to be a commoner and that the jester Dagonet would like to become a knight.
You know it was Gawain who killed sir Lamorak, son of Pellinore, and that Clarissant is Morgouse’s daughter. You also know that Mordred is Mourgouse’s son even though everybody believes he is Morgana‘s son.
You know that priest Patrick secretly married Isolde and Tristan on a boat, that Roisin loves Patrick and Patrick loves her back, that Galahad desires Aoife, that Aoife is scared of Morgana as the death itself, and Elyzabel is scared of Guinevere in the very same way, you even know that Guinevere made Elyzabel poison common girl who fell in love with Lancelot. You know that priest Eyvyn doesn’t believe in any god at all, that Lionel sleeps with Seraide, that Bors loves both Seraide and Aoife, and so much more. Noone would ever believe how much you know. And maybe… just maybe… there is time to use it.
Hector: you love him.
Perse: you fear her. She would have your head if she would find out what you are doing with her husband.
Kay: he is a brute, but also a man living in great pain. Man who never had what he wanted. At least he feels like it. You wonder if you should hate him, or pity him. But he trusts you immensely… probably because he considers you too inferior to him to pose a threat.
Dagonet, Aoife, Elyzabel: you feel with them and would consider helping them.
Dinadane: he realizes how powerful a source of knowledge you are and he is using you. He cares for the kingdom and the king… You don’t.
Ragnelle: Gawain’s wife. In contract to her husband, she is kind and friendly and you like her and wish to be helpful to her. You told her that Hector loves you.
There is very little you can hope for. But you truly wish to live your love without the fear for your love. Maybe you could persuade Arthur to let you live with Hector somewhere in seclusion.
You are well aware of the Political map. You can use it in your calculations.
- Should you tell Hector about Perse‘s affair with Gawain? Possibly also with Kay?
- Should you ask Arthur for a favor? To let you live with Hector? You could tell him what do you know about his wife in exchange.
- You can try to talk with Galeholt. He has a big kingdom and is Hector’s friend. But his wife, lady Malehaut, is very religious. It might completly destroy you.
- You can talk with Elyzabel, Aoife, and Ragnelle about their needs and if you can be to their service.
- You might ask Dinadane for support. He was a commoner. He might be kinder to you. You also heard that Merlin was always understanding to boy-to-boy love.